Children Lie to Seek Pleasure or Avoid Pain
As parents, it can be challenging not to take it personally when our children engage in lying behaviour.We might feel frustrated or tempted to take the moral high ground. But let’s be honest—haven’t we all bent the truth at some point? Whether it was a small fib or a bigger lie, there was always a reason behind it, whether we realized it or not.
Why Do Children Lie?
Our brains are always scanning our surroundings, deciding if something is good or bad. This process helps us survive and shapes how we respond to situations. If something feels positive, we naturally seek pleasure. This releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine. But if we sense something negative, we try to avoid pain. That’s when stress hormones like cortisol kick in.
Understanding the Emotional Drive Behind Lies
At its core, lying is a way for both children and adults to avoid uncomfortable situations or chase things that make us feel good. For a child, lying might help them escape consequences or get something they want. It can also be a way to avoid feelings of guilt, shame, or fear.
Common Reasons Children Lie
For example, a child might lie about finishing their homework to avoid admitting they didn’t do it. Or they might make up a story to impress friends. Lying isn’t about being “bad.” It’s how children deal with their emotions and experiences.
How to Respond to Your Child’s Lies
Lying can be a way for children to cope when they feel overwhelmed or misunderstood. Instead of reacting with anger, try to understand why they lied. This approach creates a safe space where your child feels comfortable being honest. Over time, this helps them learn and grow from their experiences.
