In most relationships, a balance of give and take is essential for harmony. However, the parent-child relationship is unique; life flows from parents to children in a one-way stream that children can never truly repay.
The best way children can honour this gift is by living their lives to the fullest, which may include raising their own children. When children take on emotional, physical, or practical responsibilities for their parents, it leads to a harmful dynamic known as parentification. This is a common issue among therapists, often referred to as the “therapist’s affliction,” as it instils high levels of empathy but makes it difficult for them to recognize and express their own needs, contributing to therapist burnout.
Parentification often occurs when parents are abusive, weak, or inadequate due to illness or their own unresolved childhood issues. This creates an environment where children cannot fully receive from their parents and instead take on adult responsibilities prematurely. This dynamic, where the child gives and the parent takes, can seem helpful in the short term but ultimately causes long-term harm to all involved.
To break this cycle, children must respectfully return the burdens that belong to their parents, allowing them to fully embrace their own lives and thrive. And this is where Family Constellations can serve as a powerful psychological tool allowing us to let go of taking too much responsibility, show more vulnerability when safe and appropriate and ask for help when needed.
Click here to learn more from: Family Constellations
– Helen Younan-Barrett, Founder & Director
