How would you answer this question: What is play?
Not that easy, is it? You might know it when you see it, but rarely do adults stop to truly consider the awesome wonder that is play and all it can offer us.
Play is fun. It is entered into willingly by participants, with no agenda. It’s the way children connect to each other and the world. It forms the basis of all our favourite childhood memories, and it has a superpower even beyond those things … Play is therapeutic.
Play therapy is on the rise in Australia. More and more mental health professionals, educators, and families are recognising children are not the mini–adults people sometimes expect them to be. They have unique needs, and so the treatment of social, emotional or behavioral challenges must cater for this uniqueness.
According to leading Play Therapist Charles Schafer, play does this in four ways:
It faciliates communication
When my second niece was born, I bought her big sister a baby doll as a present. She would play with this doll by violently throwing it off the balcony into the backyard. Do you think she was expressing something? Play has been called the language of children. This is because it’s their natural way to express themselves and process their thoughts or feelings, both consciously and unconsciously. The beauty of this language is it does not require words. It can be used to process events that happened to children even before speech development. It can also offer adults a pathway to children in order to help teach them healthy ways of being with others.
It fosters emotional wellness
Through play, children can make sense of distressing events or feelings by ‘playing it out’. By setting scenes and using toys, the issues children face become less about them and more something they can see, manipulate and change if needed.
Last year I lost control of my car on a wet road and spun 360 degrees with my 2-year-old in the backseat. We were physically unharmed, but for weeks, I recalled watching my little one literally spinning and twirling around our house, making big loopy paintings, and spinning her cars around on the tiles, until one day, she didn’t need to do it anymore.
It enhances social relationships
From the very first peek-a-boo, play bonds infants to their primary caregivers. Children learn about trust by leaping off walls into the arms of their parents. This initial relationship forms the basis of all others, and play is the glue that binds them. Through play, children can try on roles of power or be powerless. They can be aggressors or victims. They can work out complex things about conflict and relationships by pretending to be mums and dads, cops and robbers, or witches with unicorns. When children role play, they are giving themselves the opportunity to feel like someone else, which is the underlying foundation for developing empathy.
It increases personal strengths
Have you ever seen wolves play fight? It looks gnarly, but ultimately everyone survives. It’s like this for children. Through play fighting or rough and tumble play, children learn self-control, resiliency, negotiating, self-regulation, as well as how to set personal boundaries and how to read non-verbal cues.
Similarly, play can boost the personal strengths of children by allowing them to imagine themselves as who they want to be. It gives them a chance to embody those things, essentially letting them try on the attributes they desire. I think there is a reason why kids love capes so much… It takes a lot of bravery to grow.
If you have a child in your life, I invite you to play with them. By noticing what they choose to play, and by staying open and curious to what they are expressing, you may find you’ll gain a special window into their unique inner worlds. I bet you may even feel a little bit of therapy creeping in for you too.
Want to learn more about the therapeutic benefits of play?
Play Therapy Hub is a co-operative of independent, qualified and experienced Play Therapists in Melbourne’s inner north. From toddlers to tweens, we strive to bring harmony to families by helping little people work through trauma, troubles and childhood road-bumps. During the Covid-19 pandemic, we are continuing to see existing and current clients as well as offering counselling, parent education and support via telephone and video.
