Family Constellations Through a Skeptic’s Eyes

Almost a year ago, I joined The Family Systems Hub team as a Practice Administrator, and it’s been such a joy to support this incredible group of therapists as they work with families and create meaningful change in people’s lives. As someone who loves helping others — and who has a deep love for therapy and a never-ending curiosity about life — I was immediately intrigued by the more spiritual side of what we offer.

Family Constellations, in particular, caught my attention.

When I say “skeptic,” I don’t mean closed-minded—I mean curious but doubtful. I love learning new things, but I had serious reservations about Family Constellations. Stand in a circle with a group of strangers, enter an energetic place called the Field, and emerge an hour later with an internal shift? Really?

For context, I’m a big fan of therapy. After an accumulated five years in psychotherapy, I have a solid understanding of myself. I also lean into the spiritual side of life—tarot cards, universal energy, the “woo”—I’m here for it. So I’m open to approaches that aren’t strictly evidence-based. And yet, even I, someone who trusts unseen energies and symbolic systems, was skeptical of Family Constellations.

But I’m also someone who believes in walking the talk. If I was going to talk to clients about this modality, I needed to experience it firsthand.

I opted for a one-on-one session rather than a group—classic Scorpio move. I keep my emotional world guarded and let only a select few in. I share this for anyone else who finds group work too vulnerable—you don’t have to constellate in a group.

After completing an in-depth intake form allowing me to unpack what may be going on for me emotionally, I met with Devi, our Family Constellations Facilitator, via Zoom for a telehealth consult.

A key principle in Family Constellations is confidentiality—not out of secrecy, but to allow emotional insights to settle without overanalysis. So while I won’t share the full details of what unfolded, I can share the shape of the experience.

In the session, Devi and I revisited my pre-consult form and clarified what I wanted to explore. She held an incredibly grounded, safe space for the next 60 minutes as the session unfolded. While much of what came up wasn’t new to me, the way it emerged was different—more visual, more visceral.

This could’ve been due to the symbolic tools Devi used to represent family members or the energy in the session itself, but I accessed insights I hadn’t fully integrated before. It felt like seeing my inner world from a bird’s-eye view rather than being tangled in it. That shift allowed me to acknowledge, express, and release long-held emotions. I ended the session emotionally spent but quietly fascinated by the energy that had moved through the space. For months, I had been skeptical of this process and yet here I was, enthralled by what Devi and I had just shared together.

The biggest surprise wasn’t what happened in the session—but what unfolded afterward. Not just that day, but in the days and weeks that followed.

I feel calmer. As a parent, I’m now able to regulate instead of react. In a moment of frustration, where my anger would have led my response, I felt a shift and a voice telling me I was safe, that everything was fine, and I was able to respond from the place I’ve always strived to respond from: a place of calm.

I didn’t notice that a wall had been built up between my partner and me, but I did notice the wall being removed. I can see and feel him beside me in a way I hadn’t in a long time. And others have noticed—friends and colleagues have commented on how different I seem, how much more me I am presenting myself to the world.

The shifts have been real, lasting, and deeply welcome.

Of course, this was my experience. Everyone’s path is different, and your response will be too. But what I now understand is that Family Constellations can offer profound insight and transformation to those who are ready. 

And if you’re not ready to constellate yourself, stepping into someone else’s constellation is a powerful way to engage with the work. You get to witness and support someone else’s healing, while quietly gathering your own insights—sometimes, without having to face your own stuff head-on. It’s a gentle yet impactful way to experience the magic of this modality.