The opportunity to reset and face the next challenge with calm confidence
Victorian families are currently undertaking the enormous challenge of responding to the Covid19 health crisis. Sudden changes to many facets of life including the closure of schools, increased health precautions and changing economic factors, have significant social, psychological, emotional and behavioural implications for children.
It’s understandable that parents are concerned about their children’s education, especially considering the uncertain timeframes these restrictions may occur for. But it’s because of this uncertainty that it’s especially important that this initial transitional time be used for connection over curriculum. There are several reasons for this:
Stress is a barrier for learning
When children are anxious or stressed their automated stress responses in their brain and nervous system makes it impossible for them to reason or remember. The centres in their brain required to retain and process information are not firing. Instead they are in a state of responding to danger. Because of this, it is important to restore a sense of safety before undertaking formal learning.
Stressed parents are not good teachers
Teachers have undertaken study where they have learned and practiced how to deliver curriculum in a calm, positive and developmentally appropriate way. The well-meaning inclination to go full speed into lessons could lead to parents feeling incapable, and add to their anxieties around how to support their family through this. If parents take time to ground themselves in their new reality, and be fully prepared before undertaking learning it will ensure greater success.
Children borrow the nervous system of their caregivers in times of stress
When uncertain, frightened or stressed, children attune to their parents in order to make sense of the world and determine if they are safe. This is called co-regulation. They literally require calm adults in order to be calm themselves.
With the intention of continuity and academics in mind, well-meaning parents may feel pressured to start lessons as soon as possible, but there is the opportunity to use this challenge as a chance to stop, reset and connect in order to move forward with the calm confidence the children deserve.
Suggestions for connection
- Be as playful as possible. Children communicate by playing. If you allow children to direct the play you can gain insight into their worries or concerns without having them talk about it. It also releases oxytocin into the brain and is a great stress reliever.
- Back yard/ loungeroom camping
- Family dance offs/routines
- Explore self-narratives. Tell children about what it was like when they were babies. For younger children you can recreate some things you used to do.
- Tell children their strengths. Notice when they are brave, kind, funny, smart and wonder at their unique capabilities.
- Thank them often and apologise if needed
- Be honest with your emotions. They will feel when you are unsure or worried. By telling them you are having a tough day, it shows them that not only you are capable of getting though hard feelings, but they are too.
- Tickle rhymes, hugs, hand clapping songs or any other sort of touch rituals your children respond to
- Be creative. If this doesn’t come natural to you, let your children get bored. It is the best way to inspire creativity.
Times are increasingly tough for everyone at the moment. Remember to put on your own psychological oxygen mask first. Take time for self-care, and ensure your own needs for comfort connection and safety are met so that you are better equipped to respond to your child. Please seek help if needed. Never before has there been more support online through many services now using this platform. Your child’s teacher can help with curriculum, but only when everyone in your family is ready to learn in this new way.
How we can help you
Play Therapy Hub will continue to see existing and current clients as well as offering counselling, parent education and support via telephone and video. Contact us via our contact page or phone 0426 826 627.
